Living In Appreciation

I look like a white girl and my Daddy’s Daddy was a Creole man from New Orleans.
He not only looked black his birth certificate said he was.

My Mama’s German Lutheran Mama married a Jewish man, if that had been reversed I would have grown up with a whole different set of holidays.

With this heritage I never felt like I could take sides in Black/White or Jewish/Christian issues. Sure I lived White and Christian but my Grandfathers, (I never met either of them, they both died before I was born but that didn’t make them less present in my life) were Black and Jewish, they are my blood.

My parents collected people. Live people gathered around our kitchen table took priority over television at our house. I’ll tell ya what gather people around a table and give them something to drink, water, coffee, tea, soda, beer or whiskey and they are gonna tell their stories.

There wasn’t alot that was taboo at that table. All kindsa stories. About people, families, love, hate, lies, grand sweeping gestures of pure grace. Laughter and tears, praying and cussing, hugs, gropes and an occasional flying coffee cup or fist. All of that and more went on at that table.

The people who gathered there to talk and play cards and smoke and even eat came from every kinda way to be.
Housewives, construction workers, mafioso, truckdrivers, teachers, nurses, roofers, secretaries, hookers (Kathleen the $10 ho and Noreen the thousands of dollars a night call girl) con-men, professors, dancers, actors, cops and doctors.
My parents loved stories and people are magnetized to be in places that allow them to tell whatever their story is.
Of course every kinda sexuality showed up there too.
Harry’s wife walked out on him so he got “married” to the baby-sitter. Deb was 15 and the story was she and Harry had driven to Kentucky and had a Justice Of The Peace marry them proper before 41 year old Harry took her to their marital bed.
Bobby Joe was seventeen when he told his Mama the way he made money was to get dressed as a woman and sing badly on a stage followed by performing sex with the audience. He was payin her rent, she didn’t mind.
Joe was from Iran, he was tall and red haired and he had a wife he was passionately in love with. He fired his secretary for making sexual advances.
Noreen dated Don who wanted her to stop working. Don had a private planes kind of lifestyle, they certainly did not need her income. Men like Don called Noreen on the phone and arranged dates that cost them thousands of dollars. Noreen loved her work.
Kate was very butch and her girl friend Cindy was very femme.
Kate would stand over there with the men drinking her can of beer and sometimes spitting.
Cindy would giggle with the kids, she was from Kansas and her Mama would cry every time she called on the telephone.
These were some of the stories around the kitchen table.

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 8th, 2009 | No Comments »

A friend asked me, “What gets you excited?”

LOL. Bob Proctor once declared me one of the most enthusiastic people he had ever met. I am fairly excited most of the time.

Connecting heart-to-heart gets me excited.
Being on the brink of appreciation gets me excited.

Right this red-hot minute I am ramping up and amping up excitement and joy by thinking about, remembering, taking this time to honor my role models and mentors.

Michael Jordan was a role model for me in a very specific way, this quote fed me:
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
You cannot succeed if you quit, especially if you quit because you failed. Seems simple, but I think its big stuff.

Jim Lambdin was a Mentor. Jim hired me to work in his high-end custom color photo lab when I didn’t know how to process black and white film and he taught me direct, one-on-one how to do the most amazing tech tricks that PhotoShop made possible for the common mortal - we did lots of em by hand.
Working with Jim was better than a Masters Degree.
He was that amazing.

My Mom was a role model fer sure.
One of the things she lived was nurturing relationships, especially with her women friends.
Mom was an only child.
Her Mom died when she was seven.
She was raised by her maternal grandparents who were from Germany and living in a little brick house on the south side of Chicago.
Always having good friends who were strong women kept her from wrenching loneliness, kept her sane.
I was one of seven children, the rest were all boys.
Like Mom, I was born without sisters.
I watched her and learned the bottom line importance of taking care of relationships, especially with those women that we find a sister connection with.
All relationships are important of course, but without sisters a girl could go crazy.

My Mentor John Milton Fogg showed me how to build a business on a foundation of relationships. Right back to Mom and the build and nurture the relationship thing.

I had the honor and deep pleasure of working with John, daily, up to many times a day for five-six years.
In the process of being Coached by him and being trained to Coach others I learned a wonderful, empowering way to show up and listen to other people.
To listen without agenda.
To release a need to agree or disagree.
To release any need to fix or rescue the other person.
To stop making stuff up.
To check in and verify my interpretation.
To listen for the others values.
To look for values that resonate with my own.

A couple, three or more things happen when you enter that kind of space with another human type.
The other feels validated in an uncommon way.
And free to explore their own “stuff.”

And when we feel safe and validated, do I dare say unconditionally loved? yeah I did dare, when we feel that way we find our own answers.
It’s like magic, or science, it works.

Another thing that happens is when I listen to another in that way from that place I inevitably find so many common values that I do what human types do, I fall in love with them, or at the very least seriously in like.

If I could have a conversation with our former President (any of them) when I am in that space, I would fall seriously in like with them and I’m telling you that is tantamount to a miracle.

When I listen to people from that space I also loose any needy aspects of demanding to be heard.
I think cause you cannot out-give the Universe.
Listening to other people from that space is a great gift.
And it floods back to you.

Filed under: Uncategorized on March 4th, 2009 | 2 Comments »

Filed under: Uncategorized on February 12th, 2009 | No Comments »

For me the journey from victim to where I stand today started with my Buddhist leaders encouraging me to “Chant and Don’t complain.”

Up until then I really thought I was entitled to be bitter and angry and caustic and a few other things like that if the circumstances warranted. And just look at my life, in my opinion the circumstances warranted.

Don’t complain? Are they crazy? Easy for them to say, they haven’t gone through what has happened to me!

Gradually I came to hear their stories. Ya know what? Being in Japan at the end of WWII was not a fun ride, we’re talking Hiroshima and the rest. Marrying an American GI and immigrating to the US was a special walk thru hell. Yet at the time I was with them they appeared to be strong women with good lives. I wanted that, I wanted to shed the victim mantle and be a strong woman with a good life. So I chanted and tried to stop complaining.

My entire focus was on what was wrong with my life, what did not work, and most of all the long long list of things that had gone wrong or had been done to me.

“Is the glass half-full or half-empty?” seemed like a really stupid question, suitable for an empty-headed Pollyanna* Who cares? We’re gonna take another drink from that glass and very soon it’s going to be empty and then we’re going to have to find something else to put into it and that ain’t never easy.

In 1984 I was 30 years old and wore my sufferings like a badge as if sufferings were a form of honor. I loved telling my story and did as often as I could. I would tell the story to friends and professionals and be downright demanding of and greedy for validation from my listener. Those people who chose to not listen I wrote off as uncaring, weak and the ultimate write-off “He/she is in Denial.”

The In-Denial write off was especially damning because it elevated me as being strong enough to face the truth, and cast the other as too weak and uncaring to be worthy of relationship, at least in my head.

As to those who would listen, I reveled in having therapists and spiritual leaders gasp in shock at how badly I had been treated and bringing friends to tears at hearing my woes.

1995 Sarah Ban Breathnach - (it’s pronounced Ban Brannock) hit the best seller lists with Simple Abundance. The new to me idea of daily listing ten things I was grateful for became a habit. Oh, I had to work at it. Some days all I could be grateful for was the color of my eyes or that I am really pretty smart. At least I was getting closer to appreciating half-full.

Today I think gratitude is a great jumping off place, but my intention is to live in a state of appreciation.

These words are often used interchangeably, but I think they really are quite different. When I am grateful for something there is the energy of that which was not wanted still present. When I am appreciating something it’s all pure positive like looking on the smiling face of a beloved child.

My process has changed I don’t keep a Gratitude Journal anymore, the practice served me well and I deeply appreciate Sarah, but today what I do is a bit different.

I go on rampages of appreciation. Looking for what there is to appreciate in any moment and there is always plenty.

Making a list of ten things I appreciate about my life followed by ten things I can acknowledge myself for is guaranteed to turn around the darkest moment.

*Today Pollyanna seems to me much wiser than any other sage. ahh well maturity.

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 31st, 2009 | No Comments »

I got a phone call from an old pal this morning. We have known each other for almost ten years, met at an Art Jonak Network Marketing Mastermind in Houston. We haven’t been face to face since in at least five years and we have a deep bond. Don’t ya just love how we can do that these days?

Anyway she called this morning and she said she wanted to get my take on a couple of things. She started talking and I knew full well she pretty much didn’t really need my take, though it was welcomed. She simply needed to speak her own take on the situation, in a space where she wouldn’t be argued with, or attacked for saying something, or corrected, or edited in any way.

So I did what I like to do I listened, and let her just tell the story.

Both of us are considered leaders in each of our network marketing companies. I’ve been working with mine for four years and it’s about five for her.

There are so many things I love about network marketing. I love my company and the impact it has on people (commercial: imagine going to your mailbox and getting a heartfelt unexpected greeting card) I love that in 2007 my husband and I were able to drive around the country for six months, and thanks to family, friends and my Team Members we paid for 10 nights (we got great at bringing hostess gifts and picking up dinner checks) and most of all I love the people on my Team, most of whom I would not have met or would not be in as close a relationship with were it not for this business.

My friend knew she was uncomfortable and has been for a while about her business. That was the reason for the conversation. She wanted to explore what was going on in her head, just behind conscious awareness about this discomfort.

What she discovered shocked us both.

There is no one any where in her company, especially not her sponsor that she could talk with and get anything other than hype in return.

Ouch! “Loving without trusting you get frostbite and sunstroke” (Joni Mitchell lyric.)

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 31st, 2009 | No Comments »

This in my email box this morning:

Did you know, Maran, that whenever you feel love, you literally begin to glow? You probably did.

But did you know that the glowing is actually made up of zillions of minute sparkles? And that these sparkles receive as much energy as they create? And that because of this energy exchange you completely stop aging and look younger? Abundance is immediately drawn to you? Healing powers fill you? Muscles are strengthened, pounds are shed, and your vision improves? Lingering questions are answered? New friends are summoned? Old friends are poked? Problems are solved? And maple syrup tastes more maple-y?

All when you feel love. It’s true -
The Universe

You can get your own Messages From The Universe - Got to http://Tut.com

Did you ever think of how much love and appreciation are of the same vibration?

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 28th, 2009 | No Comments »

SendOutCards is in the process of rolling out a whole new internet platform.

It’s very exciting.

And as chaotic and inconvenient as moving house.

I do know a few people, my sister-in-law AnneMarie and my Mentor John Milton Fogg (okay that’s two - not “a few”) who can actually move into a new home and be boxes-broken-down-and-in-the-recycle-bin, all things assigned and nestled into their new places unpacked within 24 hours. Both of them have large households with lots of things and people and animals, both handle all the packing and unpacking themselves. Boggles my mind.

I have been living in my current residence for over a year and there are still mystery boxes way high up on closet shelves. Since I’m 5′3″ they will probably remain mysteries for a good long time, maybe until I move.

We’ve all (except of course for AnnMarie and John Milton - is it another one of those double first name traits?) been through the chaos of having no clue where the can opener is.

Or packing something a week before moving day and then the day before moving day needing it and going through boxes, half unpacking, opening and resealing boxes.

Next time I am definitely hiring people to do all of it and I’m going on a cruise.

In terms of what we are going through with the SendOutCards right now it’s as though we had the old house, which was great, well constructed, solid bones. It was a little bigger than we needed at the start with just 1000 people using the system. A sweet little cottage.

Today just five years later we have over 150,000 users.

It got kind of crowded.

New people would come in and send their wish lists to corporate.

SendOutCards Corporate is amazingly responsive to requests from the field.

So the little cottage kept getting add-ons. And more add-ons and more add-ons.

About two years ago my CEO Kody Bateman announced groundbreaking on our new, grand mansion across the street! No McMansion here. A sprawling estate, large enough and elegant and grand enough to be the home of a billion dollar business. Have I mentioned my buddy Kody is a man of Big Vision? He’s pretty fun to hang out with.

Hanging out with Kody Bateman is not just like Soaring with Eagles, it is.

So the new house - well I can tell ya Windsor Castle has nothing on us for space and Bill Gate’s house doesn’t have any more tech toys than we have in our new house.

It really is all that.

And there’s a bunch of stuff that hasn’t been moved over yet.

Each one of the 150,000 users has a bunch of stuff in the old house. Stuff like the contact manager that has all those names and birthdays and addresses.

We have our own signatures and handwriting fonts.

Oh my gosh we have tons of pictures. I have hundreds maybe thousands of pictures, geesh I’ve been a professional fine art photographer for a long time - can you say picture-freak?

Being able to use my own images for greeting cards is pretty all the way cool. It is totally cool to have them as digital files all stored on SendOutCards’ server.

Then of course we have a record of all the cards we have ever sent with our SendOutCards system.

I have been with SendOutCards for just over 4 years and in that time I have sent out about 4,000 cards. That’s really not a lot for any business owner, it’s not quite an average of 3 cards per day.

Imagine all of these things as physical files and objects.

Don’t forget to multiply by 150,000.

They all have to be sorted and packed, then unpacked and put into their new places.

I’m too excited about all the new place is to be worried about what has or has not been delivered to the new house.

I gotta go explore the grounds.
SendOutCards Rocks!

See ya later.
ps If you’d like information about SendOutCards just get in touch with me.
cards@maranbanta.com

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 27th, 2009 | No Comments »

My husband asked Abraham-Hicks.

Appreciation Gratitude

Whats the difference between Appreciation and Gratitude?

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 25th, 2009 | No Comments »

This song always makes me feel good!

I love Oscar Brown Jr.

Hazel\’s Hips

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 25th, 2009 | 1 Comment »

A story that could inspire you for the rest of your life…

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say,
“Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.”
I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead
“I will come next Tuesday”,
I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy.
Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there.
When I finally walked into my daughter Carolyn’s
house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children.
I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

I told my daughter, “Forget the daffodils, Carolyn!
The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and
there is nothing in the world except you and my grandchildren
that I want to see right now. I don’t want to drive another inch!”

My daughter smiled calmly and said,
“We drive in this weather all the time, mother.”

“Well, you won’t get me back on the road until it clears,
and then I’m heading for home!” I assured her.

“But first we’re going to see the daffodils.
It’s just a few blocks,” Carolyn said. “I’ll drive. I’m used to this.”

“Carolyn,” I said sternly,

“It’s all right, Mother, I promise.
You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.”

So we went!
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road
and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church,
I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read,

“Daffodil Garden —->”

We got out of the car, each of us took a child’s hand,
and I followed Carolyn down the path.
Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped.
Before me lay the most glorious sight.
It looked as though someone had taken
a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak
and its surrounding slopes.

The flowers were planted in majestic,
swirling patterns, great ribbons
and swaths of deep orange,
creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink,
and saffron and butter yellow.
Each different-colored variety was planted
in large groups so that it swirled
and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.

There were five acres of flowers!

“Who did this?” I asked Carolyn.
“Just one woman,” Carolyn answered.
“She lives on the property. That’s her home.”
Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house,
small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house.
On the patio, we saw a poster.

“Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking”
was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. “50,000 bulbs,” it read.

The second answer was, “One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.”

The third answer was, “Began in 1958.”

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience.
I thought of this woman whom I had never met,
who, more than forty years before, had begun,
one bulb at a time, to bring her vision
of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop.

Planting one bulb at a time, year after year,
this unknown woman had forever changed
the world in which she lived.
One day at a time, she had created something
of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught me
is one of the greatest principles of celebration.
That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time.

“It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Carolyn.
“What might I have accomplished
if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five
or forty years ago and had worked away at it
‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years?

Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”
My daughter summed up the message of the day
in her usual direct way.

“Start tomorrow,” she said.

She was right.
It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays.
The way to make learning a lesson of celebration
instead of a cause for regret is to only ask,

“How can I put this to use today?”

The Daffodil Principle.

Stop waiting…..
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die…

There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don’t need money.
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
and, Dance like no one’s watching.

If you want to brighten someone’s day,
pass this on to someone special (like I did to you!)

Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!
Don’t be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

- Author unknown

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 25th, 2009 | No Comments »